1. me after listening to a judge detail my hideous crimes: let the record show im also cute as hell
    2. jury: haha this guy is cool
     

  1. all day ive had this repeating internal dialogue a la “lisa needs braces” but instead its “gay jew kaiju” “thats me”

     

  2. Anonymous said: every weekend i have remembered to check for your podcast thing has been a weekend you haven't done it. :(

    im so sorry! im working out some tech and health stuff, i’ll resume as soon as i can

     

  3. cyber elf: hark… drums in the Deep Web

     

  4. REEDUTAINMENT CAMP: MAOIST BEACON TEACHES CLASS WAR

     

  5.  

  6. if i said you had a beautiful puppy would you hold it against me

     

  7. goth is dead. goth is defunct. we are screampunk now

     

  8. i wake up every morning and pray to each of the relevant saints that i dont live long enough to see jj abrams reboot Dune

     

  9. behind every successful man is a great woman with a gun. put the money in the bag, champ. dont be a hero