1. it’s that time again!! support orb steeb aka Elias IKB on Patreon and Etsy!



    so here’s the deal. 

    due to Patreon bungling their payouts at the beginning of the month and my employer neglecting to pay me or return my calls for weeks at a time, money is pretty tight ‘round the ol steeb homestead at the moment. according to my calculations, after i pay rent and utilities for this month i will have approximately zero dollars, which is a number that needs improvement.

    would you like A Poem? do you have a piece of writing that needs the attention of a professional editor at stupidly reasonable rates? click on this link and make all your dreams come true. the world is monstrous… and so are your savings!!


    would you like to support my contributions to the problem glyph project and support a struggling artist like the beneficent merchant prince you are? and qualify for fabulous prizes? click on this link, also

    is there anything else i can do for you for dollars? do you have any questions? email me at elias(.)isaac(.)b(@)gmail(.)com

    Problem Glyph companion project, Glyph Poems, has just reopened commissions for a limited time. This guy is kept pretty busy running my media empire and proofreading my press releases for archaic cusses, so you should get on this while you can.

    this is still very relevant

    (via problemglyphs)


  2. Anonymous said: befriend a boxer. choose a chihuahua. save a st. bernard. say hello to a heeler.

    aid, arm, and abet a dalmatian in exile


  3. adopt a dog. protect a pooch. harbor a hound. refuge a rover. collaborate w/ a collie 


  4. it would be a cool own to reblog every one of a person’s selfies but tag them all #body horror///


  5. new super smash brothers released, only characters on the roster are My Dad and Your Dad. $60 day-one dlc lets My Dad win


    1. bashir: jadzia, are you all right? you look a little pale.
    2. dax: thank you doctor, im fine. just a mild case of Trill updog syndrome.
    3. bashir: fascinating. [later] computer, what's

  6. tiramisu-ki said: hamlet was indeed the cheekiest procrastinator, the predecessor of youth today

    kids these days with their ghost peps and i phones


    1. hamlet: the rest... is silence...
    2. horatio: goodnight, sweet prince. may fli-
    3. hamlet: what did i JUST say

    1. ophelia: hamlet you manipulated me into an emotional breakdown and then felt me up in public at the weird play you wrote about your dad, in front of my dad
    2. hamlet: haha and then what ;)
    3. ophelia: hamlet, you murdered and dismembered my father
    4. hamlet: haha and then what ;)
    5. ophelia: im going to drown myself while you fuck around with pirates for some reason
    6. hamlet: ;)

    1. fortinbras: [enters stage right, with attendants] what the FUCK
    2. horatio: okay, so
    3. fortinbras: jesus fucking christ
    4. horatio: youre king of denmark now
    5. fortinbras: is that a body? is that... four dead bodies?
    6. horatio: yeah
    7. horatio: also who are you again