1. *lacrosse players huddle, terrified in a dark dorm room* “bro… do you think those f-fucking classics nerds will be back tonight?” 

    *there is a sudden pounding at the door*

    "YO CHAD"

    "fuck"

    "HEY CHAD. YOUR MOM BLOWS MORE DICKS THAN AEOLUS AT A GOP CONVENTION"

    "just ignore them man they’ll go away ev-"

    "HEY BRENDAN, YOUR MOM HANDLES MORE HOGS THAN CIRCE"

    "JAKE IS YOUR MOTHER BABY HERACLES B/C IM PRETTY SURE I SAW HER TAKIN ON TWO SNAKES AT ONCE LAST NIGHT"

    "bro this is immature and sexis-"

    "WE BRINGIN THE HEAT LIKE PROMETHEUS"

    "god damnit"

     
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    I’ve been laughing at this for several minutes.
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